oh em hoyt

Ya’ll I cannot believe it’s already time for another monthly reflection! In a weird way, May seemed to fly by yet, because of so much going on, it also felt like 3 months in one! So, here we are, in the final days of May with a BIG week ahead in the first days of my favorite month of the year!

First, let’s start with a little (which always turns into a lot)
UPDATE ON ALL THINGS MAY!

• HUBBY’S NEW JOB – Okay so a lot to unpack here. For one, how monumental this shift is for him, us, and our future. Also, how I’m lowkey SO jealous at the opportunity and how freaking awesome it is that in all of the ways, this is a brand new, fresh start for him. Come Fall, he will be in a brand new kitchen, with an assistant manager he was part of interviewing and choosing for himself, his own office (!!!), running his own kitchen in a wonderful school district starting a new NYS lunch program that has the potential to help change and grow a lot of kids lives. Purpose people! I AM SO PROUD.
That being said, I’m gunna let the over-planning, control freak, side of Em out for just a second to complain about how this amazing opportunity and big, massive, future-changing thing my husband’s doing has thrown me into a tizzy of sorts. I am doing my best to keep focused on how amazing this is, but I am a creature of habit, and we seemed to just be getting into a reliable sort of routine, schedule and budget. So, when his schedule changed (and mostly for the better, time-wise), so did our shared days off (hello separation anxiety!). Add in that the pay structure at the new job is different (bi-monthly) and they withheld the first two weeks of pay, I was thrown for a loop financially.
Now onto the personal lessons here; it is becoming glaringly clear that money and financial stability is and will continue to be a major stressor for me if I don’t start to work on how I let it affect me. Let me be clear, my husband and I do not fight over money matters. We rarely fight about anything really. This is 100% a me issue. I’m not entirely sure where it stems from but clearly something worth delving into further because I kind of hated how I thought about trying to budget towards the end of May. As I’m typing this, I forgot I have a book on my shelf that I have yet to read regarding money matters. Maybe that should be next on my list and can help me explore more about why/how money psychologically affects me. Again, job = great, wonderful, so exciting and life-changing; I’m the one who needs to work on changing how change sends me spiraling. Maybe it’s the “not-knowing”, the not being able to control it, or plan for it. Idk, more to come on this. Maybe I’m just rambling because all of a sudden, this new job brought up years of underlying flaws I never accepted and therefore have yet to work on.

Which brings us to…

• SOBER THINGS – My best friend Karen celebrated 3 years sober last week and I was honored and so happy I was able to go to her home group meeting/celebration. Ya’ll, I am still kind of reeling over the whole thing.
For one, I am so very proud of her. She is literally like sunshine in my life and genuinely an inspiration in my recovery.
This N/A meeting was something else ya’ll! Now, I say this naively as I have not been to a lot of meetings outside of the one that I call home in SOS. This was like a mix between church, a bingo hall, and a very hood BBQ.
Even though, I would probably not return there unless invited by Karen for something equally as important to her, I did have a lot of takeaways.
This re-enforced my commitment to continue with the meetings I go to. Because the message is clear; meetings save lives. They keep us sober; they keep us accountable and give us the community we so desperately need (even if we don’t think we do). It also reminded me that my path in recovery looks and feels very different from that of others and that is perfectly fine. I LOVE that Karen has a group like the one she has that welcomes her, and loves her, and celebrates her. I do yearn for more of that. It also made me feel like a part of something bigger. All of these people coming together for Karen, a group that I’m now a part of. It kind of made me want to lean into growing/nurturing more connection with my sober people IRL and outside of meetings.

• OHEMDESIGNS – which is in itself a segway from sobriety to business because I’m starting to see the purpose behind ohemdesigns take shape. Sobritey is my thing, and design is my thing, and I’m now combining those two things to create and share things that promote sober pride and positivity in and around sober communities. It would be nice if I started to make some money on it but gosh, it is just so exciting & fulfilling right now that cost v. payout just doesn’t seem to matter much at the moment. The value of being able to pour pieces of myself into these projects cannot be monetized. And that makes me so happy.

• BABY LUCY • OUR GARDEN • ALL THINGS GROWING • & OH YEAH — I RAN MY FIRST 10K •

LET’S START WITH ME FINISHING MY FIRST EVER 10K because I literally almost forgot I did the damn thing! So many other great things that I totally forgot that I went to the Lilac Festival on a Sunday morning and ran 6.27 miles. NBD — kidding, this was a big deal for me. If you’ve read any of this blog before, you know that running has been a huge part of my recovery but more so now, it’s become part of who I am. With my first 10K in the books, I’m signing up for another one in June, running the annual Rocovery 10K in September and the goal for next year is a half-marathon!

BABY LUCY’S SPRINKLE is next week, and the shower has been the perfect excuse for the girls to get out and about to shop for decorations and preparations for it. I absolutely love spending time with my mom, sister, and Lena, add shopping to the mix and we’re all in our natural element LOL. I’ve had such a good time planning this shower and I can’t wait to celebrate Lucy! On top of that, the shower makes it all feel so much more real and close! We’re officially in the third trimester and she will be here in just over a couple months, IT’S WILD!

THE GARDEN YA’LL – IT IS BEAUTIFUL & EVERYTHING I IMAGINED AND MORE – I also say more and mean, I continue to keep finding more shit on the side of the road for my husband to go pick up for me and re-purpose, paint, and make into vessels for plants and flowers.
What I love most about it is having a space to sit in the morning with my coffee, read my book in the afternoon sun, hang out / grill & chill with my hubby and his dad, and just enjoy the summer air. I’m obsessed and blessed.

Obsessed & Blessed • I kind of love that.

And, speaking of being blessed,

LET’S TALK ABOUT JUNE •

My favorite month of the year. The month that summer arrives, the anniversary of the day I married my very best friend (all the aww’s), the month I celebrate getting and staying sober, and because of that, all the things I get to be actively grateful for that make my spirit so full of life, love, and joy.

BIKE RIDES • BOOKS TO READ • MORE RACES TO BE RUN • DRIVE-IN MOVIES IN THE TRUCK • GARDEN HANGS • YEAR 3 OF SOBRIETY • GRATITUDE • SUNSHINE • NATURE • COMMUNITY • MEMORIES • LOVE • JOY

Happy June Ya’ll • With All My Love •