oh em hoyt

Um just wondering if anyone has any idea where the fck October went?

• SO MUCH UNIVERSE •

I might eventually get to a point here so follow along if you’d like. I am losing my mind over how spectacular this month has been for me and I feel SO much like one of “those people” that I used to think were fucking crazy hippies or whatever BUT I swear this whole connecting with the universe and your inner self type stuff is starting to feel SO REAL; like, no freaking joke ya’ll.

For a couple months now I took a break from the Quit Lit and started reading more “self-help”-y kind of stuff — ya know the self help books that claim they’re not self help books but actually somehow convince you to start HELPING YOSELF. And I gotta admit, I started buying into some of the shit they were saying. Living in the present moment, manifesting and setting intention for what you want out of life, vision boards, positive self-talk, affirmations, setting attainable goals, getting out of your own way, breaking cycles of self-sabotage; the list goes on and on. This is all stuff I’ve been putting into practice for my recovery but I feel like I’ve started to come into this new phase of shifting the focus from solely sobriety to all aspects of my life.

I started using all the things I was forcing myself to do to stay sober (which IS working wonders BTW 1YR,5MO) and apply them to everything else. The thought process was something like “well shit, I had to try any and everything in order to get sober and that worked a lot better than I thought, why don’t I try that in other parts of my life too.”

I owe my life to sobriety and it is prevalent and present in every single thing I do; but now, it’s become sort of like an auto-pilot type thing. At first, this was worrisome cause I am adamant about not becoming complacent or ever getting to a point where I naively think I’m all set on doing the work. That’s not what I’m saying here.

I owe it to my sobriety to not only maintain but THRIVE in recovery. The more cool, good, positive shit I do in the world, the better I feel and it’s all done in gratitude and graciousness to what sobriety has given me. It creates and continues the cycle. Sobriety did all of XYZ for me and now it’s my turn to fucking do something with it. (Random design idea : BREAK THE CYCLE; CREATE A NEW ONE)

AND SO GETTING BACK to the actual updates..

• I started a vision board and I absolutely love it – manifesting and besting! And yo! IT IS WORKING – I put it right in my kitchen so I see it everyday – I’m telling you, this has a huge impact on the subconscious! If it’s something you’re seeing everyday, whether you’re actively engaging with it, it’s still registering (think commercials on tv and how much of an impact those have subliminally) Plus it’s super crafty which is my fuckin’ jam.

Quick Side Note (cause all my thoughts are random): I was super worried about colder weather months creeping up so stuff like the vision board and crafting are my proactive ideas to combat seasonal depression and keep myself busy when it’s too shitty to go outside.

• I started making a monthly “vibe” list to put on the vision board. Cool stuff I wanna do that month (i.e.; pumpkin patch, learn how to bake bread), fitness goals, upcoming events/holidays to be excited for, long term mindset type shit, and anything I want to make a focus for that specific month (for cliche example, November is gratitude, DUH)
FTR, I managed to accomplish every item on my vibe list for the month of October — CHECK IT OUT ⬇⬇⬇

[ october vibes ]
– pumpkins & fall hygge –
we went to Blodgett Farms and did the whole pumpkin patch thing with Lena and the family – I had a wagon full of pumpkins, and it was so fall and beautiful and she is the cutest. That same day we painted our pumpkins and I decorated the stoop and our little living room table (which has basically turned into my seasonal altar). – basement & workout space –
it was time to de-summer (sad face) and get the basement organized. Took my flower pots down and put away, made space for the bikes and just re-set. We also got the workout space in shape! (PUN INTENDED). It looks awesome and it’s so nice to come back from a run and go straight down there to do a workout right away. I love the vibe. It keeps me in the zone.
500 days sober af – ANOTHER milestone in my recovery, this one felt right; like, “yeah, I made it”, sobriety has started to feel like home.

– read (3) books –
You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero,
UnF*ck Yourself by Gary John Bishop,
& “Stop Doing That Sh*t” by Gary John Bishop
Also started my fave boss babes THIRD book “Lightning Strikes Twice” by Shannon Carse

– stumps –
Just one more reason why running pays off, this time in the most unexpected way. I was out for a run in the neighborhood and someone had cut down a huge tree and left all this great firewood on the side of the road. Dyl and I went back to grab some for my sister and he saw the stumps and was like “these would make great table tops”. Fast forward to him having his own crafting projects! – we have 3 giant (and really heavy) tree stumps that we’re re-purposing into furniture!! I absolutely LOVE this for so many reasons but also, that he is so into it! I lowkey find it so attractive that he not only is working with his hands and being so manly but that he has something to pour passion into. It’s so exciting to watch him be excited.

– OHEMDESIGNS –
my passion project (near obsession), my babyyyyy, my dream in the making – I decided to actually do something with the collections of quotes & screen shots, saved IG posts, & inspiration/motivation boards I’ve created. I started an Etsy shop and started designing cute shit geared towards celebrating and showing pride in my sobriety. The original idea stemmed from the lack of well-designed items out there for sober-versaries or much of anything to show your sober pride. So, OHEMDESIGNS was born. I worked obsessively on designs and getting “THA SHOP” up and running and on my 500th day of sobriety, I announced/introduced it to the world. I have sold exaclty ONE sticker out of 50 items I’ve listed but that was never the point. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’d be nice to make some money on all this, but it is enough for it to be out in the world and I literally squeal over how cute all the stuff is that I’ve made. Like, seriously, I keep finding myself being like “OMG I WANT ONE OF THESE!!”. Anyway, I am super proud of the shop itself but prouder of the fact that I did it. It’s been something I’ve always been like “maybe someday” or “it’d be cool if I did that one day” and despite being worried about what people would think, or that it wouldn’t be perfect or that I had no idea wtf I was doing at first and probably still don’t, I made it happen and that is fucking cool.

– get the job, or change the job –
probably the biggest thing that happened in october, in terms of what will have lasting change/effects is … that sub shop coordinator position I applied for back in July and didn’t get, well, I applied again when it opened back up, and I got it this time!! This is me stressing that Universe thing again. I needed to not get it back in July. In the time since then, things shifted for me in a lot of ways. Other shit needed to happen, I needed to face some truths and realities about myself and others and I decided to start getting out of my own way and also tell other people to stay the fuck out of it too. Anyway, this time around felt different, and I really put more effort into preparing for the interview and I just had a better mindset about it. Welp, it paid off cause here I am, the new sub shop coordinator at Lyell Ave. Wegmans! All in all, and a little bit of bullshit and craziness to come, I’m excited for what’s in store next. And it’s pretty fuckin’ rad to be the boss again 🙂

– nature AND nurture –
more of a play on words for dramatic effect on the vision vibe board but wanted to make it a point to nurture myself by getting out into nature and experiencing what I believe is our most beautiful season in upstate ny.
I went on some exhilarating crisp runs, soaked up all the mild sunny days we had left while reading outside, and hubby and I made an afternoon trip to Letchworth on my “staycation” (which was timed PERFECTLY btw).

• OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT WITH ALL THE OTHER AWESOME STUFF! I AM OFFICIALLY FREE FROM THE LAW. MY LAST DAY ON PROBATION WAS THE 10TH OF OCTOBER – honestly, I thought it’d feel a little cooler but I’ve kind of been doing what I was supposed to be all along for a while now so not much has really changed in the day to day. However, now I can move onto getting my license back. Once that happens, I will finally feel like all of my freedom is restored.

Okay so between the vibes list and the vision board, nearly everything I set out to do and manifest with intention, care, and love, I was able to accomplish – because I wanted it to happen. I willed it into existence through belief in myself, a little bit of diligence, honest effort, and a little bit of help from whatever all-powerful force may be out there and low-and-behold, it worked!

I sent this energy off into the world and the universe listened. Because I started listening to her.

So, with that, I start the month of November buzzing with an electric energy and an incredible sense of trust that everything is all happening exactly the way it’s supposed as long as I keep trusting myself at the same time.

Stay Safe • Stay You • Stay Sober.af