oh em hoyt

YA’LL — I feel like I say this with every new post lately but, it has been a minute!! I suppose that’s a good sign that life is keeping me busy! More importantly, it’s been filled with a lot of really good stuff!

I am trying my darndest or setting an intention to get around the ol’ blog here at least once a month for an update. The dawning of a new month is always a good time for reflection and opportunity to set some new goals/intentions for the month(s) ahead! That being said, I haven’t updated since I hit my one-year sober mark which was about 60 days ago now (crazy!!). I’m still sober.af and feeling amazing about it. Summer has been pretty incredible so here I go with a (not so) little update of reflections, lessons, & blessings from the past couple months:

I mentioned briefly in my last post that I applied for a management position at work; welp, I didn’t get it. And I am SO okay with it. The whole thing was unexpected, unplanned, and in hindsight, I suppose a little unnecessary at the point in time given where I felt I was and stood within my current role. The position was in a department I had worked in before (so my comfort level with the job itself was good) but not one I specifically enjoyed working in. On top of that, I’m not unhappy in my current role/department. The opportunity presented itself, or more so, the store manager presented it to me, so I went for it! I want to progress my career and take the next steps, and this was an opportunity to do so. But I flubbed on a couple of questions in the interview which I knew just about all of the thousand times I replayed it over again in my head. End of the day; I got some decent feedback, definitely have better insight into what not to do next time, and gained some good perspective. Biggest takeaway and positive spin: The people I work for support me, genuinely believe in me, and want to see me succeed. Blessing in the lesson; I have really great mentors, a lot of people rooting for me, and I’m choosing to believe that there is truly a “higher power at work” kind of energy vibing with me right now. That deep down, I don’t think this was the right move, right time, or right space kind of thing. There is definitely something bigger, maybe not better so-to-speak, but different, and more fulfilling still out there for me. Or maybe, the takeaway was the experience itself. Putting myself out there, being rejected, accepting that and giving myself enough grace to move onward without resentment or regret. Sobritey ya’ll — forces you to face hard shit and deal with it in a healthy (and uncomfortable) way. At the end of the day, I didn’t turn to a drink to make me feel better. And that made me feel better.

On to brighter things!!

I bought a cruiser bike and yo! I love this ole girl so freaking much! It was a random Facebook Marketplace find that I came across and it was like the universe knew I needed it. I knew going into the summer that I was going to start feeling the itch to be out and about, when the weather is nice, I want to be out doing shit! The lack of freedom that comes with not being able to drive, hits fucking hard from time to time, but so much more so during the summer months. So, when I saw the bike, I was like oh fuck yeah! I cannot pass this up. It gives me the chance to go exploring around on my own and create these perfect little bike adventures; I also can ride to my sisters in like 20 minutes without having to worry about asking someone to get me there (especially if I want to just go over on a whim to hang outside with her and my niece). Ya’ll, it is great cardio! AND just look at how pretty the lil’ girl is:

Speaking of cardio, I signed up to run the ROCovery Annual 5K Race again, so I’ve been running as much as I can. I fucking love early morning running so I’m getting up and out for runs as much as I can. I found a new app that tracks all types of different activities (running and biking specifically for me), I’m building running playlists on my new spotify account and it’s really helping motivate me to keep a good workout regimen going. On that note, I’ve been thinking and talking about converting a space in our basement into a workout room for me and we are definitely pulling the trigger on that — just bought a workout machine at an insanely good price, ordered some mats and have a good vision of what I want it to be. The goal is to work on it little by little for the remainder of the summer so that by fall/winter, we have a fully setup workout space that’s ready for badassery when the weather is not so accommodating.

Segway into husband’s new journey to be more conscientious about his health, weight loss, and eating habits. After his physical in June, we learned that he is pre-diabetic and was prescribed the WeGovy shot. He’s been on it for a little over a month now and yes, he has lost some pounds, but I think the biggest change I’ve noticed and celebrate is his mentality and shift in perspective. I’ve tried and for the most part done a good job at not trying to push or impose my fitness journey (a huge part of my recovery) on him. I am super proud that he’s found his own path and is starting to take his health more seriously because I really want him to be around with me for as long as possible. And honestly, it’s so fucking cool that we have this new experience to share with each other and I’m really excited to see how it progresses.

VACATION!! •

Last and definitely not least, we took a much needed and well-deserved vacation! The last vacation we took was last September when we went to the Catskills for a little fall getaway. Even then, I think I was only off of work for a few days. This time, I took the whole freaking week, and it was absolutely perfect! The whole trip was centered around the fact that I got tickets to Teddy Swims (my favorite artist and literal musical lifeline when I first got sober) in Erie, PA. I bought the tickets like 6 months ago and I thought, why not turn it into a little getaway?! I searched Airbnb for a couple of days before I found this Dome Home in Youngsville about an hour or so outside of Erie. It was different (I didn’t even know what a fuckin’ dome home was before this) and it checked all the boxes for a relaxing, nature-filled escape. You guys!! I had no idea how fucking perfect it would turn out to be! (Pictures to follow)

I am still giddy over the entire week of vacation and cannot put into words how it was EVERYTHING I needed in so many ways and for so many reasons.

The little drivey drive to Pennsylvania was short but just long enough to enjoy how beautiful the weather and countryside in NY/Pennsylvania is this time of year. Dome Home- incredible! Literally right on the Alleghany River, there was a hammock for me to read (and nap) in right on the river bank. The Dome itself was modern and chic, and I all of a sudden find myself giving this place a review again haha! It was absolutely perfect! AND Dylan told the Airbnb host that I had just celebrated my one year of sobriety and she freaking put a congrats note on the little welcome sign for when we arrived! It was so sweet and heartfelt, tears were shed and it really just set the tone for the whole trip. My sobriety has never been stronger and because of it, I was able to fully experience this trip in the most present state of mind I’ve ever felt.

Let’s talk about this concert really quick though – Teddy Swims is incredible. I listened to every song of his that I could find on repeat when I first got sober and resonated with so many of his songs, lyrics, and the feeling that his music evokes in me is something different. At many points throughout the concert, I felt like I wasn’t in control of my body (that was not intended to be a reference to his “Lose Control” song, but I really did fucking lose control). I sang at the top of my fucking lungs and danced as if I was the only person there. I never would have been able to experience that had it not been for sobriety. This is the side of that double-edged sword of sobriety that is actually fucking awesome. You feel everything more intensely, your senses are heightened and you’re able to experience things with so much more clarity. When it comes to music and someone who literally speaks to your soul through their voice, it’s what I like to call “sober fucking magic”. It makes having to face the shitty side of the sword, SO worth it. I felt electric the whole night and that carried through the rest of the night when we sat under a breathtaking lit up sky full of stars. We were able to clearly see the milky way galaxy and Dylan and I saw a shooting star at the same time! It was beyond words.

On the way back through NY we stopped in Ellicottville which was another one of those universal happenstances that I can’t explain. Ellicottville was/is one of my favorite breweries and I had said on the drive down how I was regretted never going there before I got sober. We ended up intentionally taking the back roads home so we could enjoy more of the scenic views and unintentionally ended up right in the middle of the town! We didn’t go to the brewery but checked out all the cute little shops! It was a perfect little stop that felt like it was somehow a period not only on the trip, but another piece of the old version of me letting go.

Once we got home, I still had 4 more days left before going back to work which was delightful! We went to a Red Wings baseball game (my first baseball game sans alcohol) and to my surprise, had a great time!
I also planned out some time to paint the bench that I read my books and relax on, a couple bike rides, lunch with my dear friend Lynn, and a long-overdue trip to the Public Market!

This vacation was more than just time off of work for me. It was a way to celebrate my year in recovery, and I gained a valuable shift in perspective. Feeling so grateful for and TO my recovery. Through really taking in how lucky I am to have this beautiful life in sobriety, I felt I was able to give it the appreciation it deserves. I felt I owed it to myself but to my journey to just soak in all the sober magic I could. I feel refreshed and renewed, humbled and forever grateful.

So, with a rejuvenated mindset, here I am welcoming all that August has in store; the last of the dog days of summer, and the (hopefully) SLOW transition into fall. Some goals/intentions include:

• Many, many more bike rides & continued progress on my 5K run time!
• Summer Days spent with my niece Lena
• The start of my very own workout space
• Vision Boards – Idk why I’ve never done a vision board before, but I kinda love the idea of them! Fall vibes, Workout goals, Motivation, a ton of Inspo – I feel like it’s totally gunna be a new thing for me!
• Getting to some new meetings – I’ve been feeling a mixed bag of emotions around SOS (probably a whole separate post worth of thoughts) so I’m in search of a different style of meeting – possibly an all women group? I feel like I’m yearning for something more meaningful, empowering, or maybe just more structured with topics that I resonate with and relate to.
• More reading — Quit Lit is great but I’m expanding into (not particularly away from) some more broad lifestyle subject matter (ie; meditation, spirituality, mindfulness, “living for the now”)
• More focus on maintaining and creating new habits and routines that contribute to my overall well-being; physically, mentally and spiritually.

And of course, my universal and number one goal:

STAY SAFE • STAY YOU • STAY SOBER.AF