oh em hoyt

About a week ago, I made a somewhat basic “hello spring” post on IG to commemorate 3.20.25; the first day of spring! I’ve always used the changing of seasons as an opportunity to reflect and re-center myself. This year, the focus has been on living a more intentional, sober life. When your mind isn’t constantly consumed with the consumption of alcohol, you have so much more time to focus on other things. Where you put that focus is the important part.

This is my first sober spring and that’s fucking rad and exciting. It’s also the last season change in my first year of sobriety which is wild. I will be over a year sober before summer hits and holy shit, that’s crazy to think about. I am hyped about being fully present for all the beautiful stuff that spring brings and even more amped about going into summer with a brand-new outlook and lots of new goals to get started on!

First, I did some reflecting on my first winter sober • af:
Cold winter nights and the cold of winter in general has its challenges especially when the boredom of not being able to get outdoors creeps in. Seasonal depression is a real mother, and after a while, I just start feeling trapped, stuck, uninspired and downright sad. Also throw in the fact that I was just settling into being newly sober when these feelings hit. I had to really dive deep to find a way to make it through the rough days of feeling so down. A few things that helped:

• Relying on my Sober “Fundies”
Not sure if the “fundie” thing is ever gunna catch on but it makes me smile. The fundies are my fundamentals, the building blocks of my recovery and non-negotiables.
There are a lot of ways we can get lost in the day-to-day shuffle and oftentimes, these go-to things can fall to the bottom of the priority list especially when that seasonal depression kicks in and you have no motivation whatsoever. That’s when sticking to the fundies is most important!
My fundies include: Journaling (every morning and night), Sleep (setting bedtime reminders, taking the time to unwind before bed, & creating nighttime habits to ensure better mornings), Exercise (I had to get into doing workouts at home for lack of being able to get outside), Education & Knowledge (continued learning & reading about addiction, recovery, and living my best life), Meetings (Every Thursday like clockwork and I also jump on a zoom meeting once in a while), Sharing & Connection (starting the IG account oh.em.hoyt.sober.af has been so fun and fulfilling), Asking for Help (not going through the bad days alone, reaching out & talking about the feelings that creep in)

• Cozy nights, Bubble baths, & Good Books
I made it a point to lean into creating cozy, warm, inviting spaces to be in. This sounds like another one of those “well, duh” kind of thing but intentionally making the places I’m in comfortable makes a huge difference in my ability to relax and unwind. Lighting candles for soothing light and fresh scents, snuggling up with fuzzy blankets & pillows, and taking a ton of hot bubble baths to feel pampered are just a few that come to mind. Bath time also meant lots of reading. It became my uninterrupted time to shut off the noise of the day and just delve into a good book. I read A LOT of books throughout the winter. (Leave a comment or message me for the list!)

• Transitioning from Outpatient Treatment to a New Therapist
It feels awesome to be completing the outpatient program; it’s a big achievement and means I’ve put in a lot of work towards growing and maintaining my sobriety. With that accomplishment comes the opportunity to move forward in my recovery and on to new ways to improve. Seeing a new therapist and working towards new goals of self-discovery is going to be challenging but it makes me feel optimistic and hopeful.

• Learning and Embracing the Difference between Isolation and Solitude
It’s so hard to not feel isolated during what seem to be never-ending, long months of the winter season. I hate not being able to be outside and to be honest, with how cold it gets, some days I found it hard to muster up the will to even want to leave my apartment. This can feel lonely and isolating. But I took those feelings and turned them inward in a positive way. Instead of getting caught up in feeling alone, I used the time to enjoy being with myself, learning new ways to enjoy doing things solo and a lot of self-care techniques. Reading, journaling, exercising, blogging, finding new ways to be creative, all these things started making me feel excited about having nights free to stay in and focus on me. In hindsight, this newfound love of and appreciation of solitude, allowed me to embrace and enjoy the time I spent with and around others that much more!

So, I made it through winter; more importantly, I made it through winter sober • af!

Now, onto all things Spring! There’s so many things I’m looking forward to in the next few months! Here’s a few that spring to mind (cue me giggling at how I had to throw some corniness in there):

• Bright Colors, Blooming Flowers, & Killer Sunsets!
Spring is literally the season of growth and awakening for Mother Nature and I’m riding those coattails all the way into summer! Through recovery I’ve learned to truly start living in the present and appreciate all the little gifts that are right in front of us every day. I can’t wait for the smell of fresh cut grass, flowers blooming, the birds building their nests, the insane colors that the sky takes on as the sun sets, a chilly breeze at night, and everything in between.

• Learning & Growing with Therapy
I touched on this a few times in the last couple posts but again, spring is for growth and awakening, things I stand to gain through continued therapy.

• Breaking in New Running Shoes
I can’t wait to get out and start going for regular runs again at the park! I’m doing Rocovery’s 10K this fall so I’m excited to have an entire spring and summer to get ready for it! #goals right?

• The Murph
So this might be a subconscious way of torturing myself but Rocovery is doing their annual Memorial Day picnic and before those festivities is the Murph. I’ve heard of it before but had no idea what it entailed and so of course I was like “fuck yeah! I’ll do it!”
For those who don’t know, the Murph is as follows:

• 1 mile run
• 100 pull ups
• 200 push ups
• 300 squats
• 1 mile run

What the fuck was I thinking right? I have just about 8 weeks until Memorial Day so I’m gunna do it or at least try my damndest. I’m actually kind of excited to have a new fitness goal to work towards. Hopefully I don’t puke, poop, pass out or all of the above in the process.
I start training tomorrow so wish me luck! 🤞🏼

• Starting a Small Herb Garden
My sister has a beautiful garden which I lowkey envy the shit out of her for. Aside from the lack of yard I have, I’ve never really had the patience or follow through when it comes to gardening or plants or being responsible for keeping things alive in general (other than myself, and at times, even that was a maybe). Anyway, sobriety has taught me that I am actually kind of good at things when I put a clear, levelheaded mind to them. There were a lot of things I failed at when I was drinking and gardening was certainly one of them. So, I’ve decided that maybe we can add that to the list of things I’m now better at sans-alcohol 🤷🏼‍♀️ Going to start small with just some low maintenance herbs and maybe get spicy and do a pepper or something. We’ll see how this grows! 🤭

• Jumping in Puddles with my Niece
I literally look forward to anything that involves being around my niece, but I can’t wait to do ALL spring things with her. Like, jumping in puddles, chasing butterflies, riding her around in her wagon, smelling flowers and teaching her the colors of each one, “catching” worms, rock collections, spraying off her dirty little feet with the hose; all of it. Being with her makes every little simple thing feel new and exciting because, to her it is. There’s nothing better.

• Muddy Hikes & Exploring New Places
When we sat down and talked about our intentions/goals for 2025, the hubs and I made getting out and hiking more one of the priorities. We loved our little getaway in the Catskills this past fall and the hike we did was so much fun for so many reasons. It was so cool to explore a place neither of us had been before, to get outside, get some exercise and take in some amazing views. And also, spend time connecting with nature and each other. Really hoping to set aside time for a few day/overnight trips to explore more!

• Connecting More Within the Sober Community
It took me a while to start being social again after getting sober. So much of my focus early on was just getting through each day without a drink and once that got easier, I put a lot of effort into re-defining and strengthening the relationship I had with myself. This didn’t leave a lot of space for connecting with others outside of my core group of loved ones.

More recently, I’ve started opening up and feeling this need to want to connect more with other people, particularly within the sober community. It might be that I’ve come to love myself so much more, or that I have this desire to want the world to know the profound appreciation I have for my recovery, or that I am just yearning for an outlet to share all these feelings. I’m finally feeling comfortable with myself and with that comes sharing who I am with the world; telling my truth about the things that I’ve been through, that maybe someone else has been through similar experiences, and that none of us are as alone as we may feel sometimes.

It’s an exciting time to feel so alive!

And as always,

Stay safe • Stay you • Stay sober. af 🤍