oh em hoyt

My time at Unity (outpatient chemical dependency) is seemingly coming to an end soon. I’ve been in what they call “maintenance” stage for a while now. After getting my monitor off back in January and successfully NOT drinking myself to oblivion after it was removed, my counselor is ready to get the ball rolling on my discharge plan.

Technically because of my legal issues, I’m mandated to be in the chemical dependency program which was also the obvious choice because my sobriety had to take priority, still does, and always will. That being said, I’ve been feeling like I’ve reached this new chapter or stage in my recovery where I feel safe and confident with being and staying sober. With the help of the program at Unity, I’ve built a strong foundation to maintain my sobriety and have tools to deal with triggers, cravings, and everyday stressors that may threaten my recovery. I have an amazing support system and the counselors at Unity will always be there if needed. I feel ready to start my transition away from regularly being at Unity. It’s affirming to have been feeling like I was ready to move on and then having my counselor say she felt the same.

So, a couple weeks ago I looked into finding a new therapist. I was hesitant and had been warned against having two therapists at the same time. But, like a lot of what I’m finding is so wonderful with sobriety, it happened organically; the timing coincided with how I was feeling and where my counselor feels I am in my progression. I had gotten a lot from the program at Unity, but I felt as though I had reached a plateau, and it’s time to take steps toward something else.

I was able to utilize this LiveWell program that Wegmans offers to its employees where I can get 10 free sessions of counseling through an agency called Life Matters. I was adamant about finding someone who had experience with addiction counseling but also dealt with mental health and familial relationships. My goal is to address and talk through the underlying stuff that led to my drinking getting as out of control as it did. I know I have some unresolved issues that for one reason or another, I never fully worked out (mostly because I was turning to alcohol to escape and not deal with difficult emotions and feelings).

I’ve done therapy before and always got something good out of it, but it was always something I felt forced to do because of my legal situations and I always had my guard up; I was never able to be completely honest about what was really going on. Now that I’m sober and I feel more comfortable with myself and my emotions, I think it could be a really cathartic, healing experience for me. So, I’ve met with my new therapist Anne; she seems nice, definitely has a lot of experience with addiction therapy, she works with families, couples, and people with mental health disorders. I liked her office space; that might seem weird, but the environment and my surroundings are super important to my level of comfort. And I did feel comfortable, both physically and emotionally. Our first visit was more introductory of course but I was able to articulate why I was there and what I hoped to gain from our sessions.

I am apprehensive yet hopeful that this is the right direction to move in. I was honest with my counselor at Unity about my worries and I really feel like this is the best, next step. It’s obviously not going to be easy to face some of the things I’ve been hiding from all these years, but recovery has strengthened my resolve to consistently be a better version of myself and I’m intrigued to see where this next chapter in healing and recovery takes me!

Updates to follow!

Stay safe • Stay you • Stay sober af •